I haven't blogged in a while and I'd love to make this a more constant habit but I don't even know if any reads this. I've been so up and down lately with many things about life. I'm back again on my diet and working out although it depends on the minute whether I am following it or not. There has been a benchmark I've wanted to reach now for about a year...and I'm still not there. I started WW almost 2 years ago - in June. I've lost 41 pounds but somehow just can't read the 50 mark. I have quite a bit more left after I reach that mark but for some reason I just can't get to the 50 mark. I want it so bad but obviously not bad enough to make the sacrifices.

Then there are other things in my life that I need to get under control but just don't put the effort into it. I am looking forward to this spring break so much. I am going to catch up on some school work and take some time to myself to work out some other issues. I have a goal to leave my school work at school for the rest of the school year - besides science plans. I want to enjoy my weekends and not have to take time to be inside planning on nice spring days. Some of the new teachers are doing that so I certainly should be able to as well. I love my job but I need to make some more time for myself and not my work on the weekends. I enjoy the Stampin Up business so much and want to be more creative - making cards and beginning scrapbooking - I could do so much more of that if I didn't have school work to think about on the weekends.

On other updates:

P is gay...I wish he would just email me. I'm offended he doesn't think enough of me to be open about that. We were close when I dealt with that with SH. I miss him and while I do not agree with his choice it makes no bearing on what I feel towards him. I hope I hear from him soon. On that note I'm thinking JRB might even fit into the category too. Why not ? That would just be too perfect.

I'm happy being single. I've thought about the fact that I don't have anyone and am really ok with that. My time is so packed with various activities and selfish me time that fitting someone into that would I think stess me out. Now of course if it was the right person it would work but I'm not seeking anything out.

ok...i'm heading out - who knows when I'll write next - maybe I'll even try heather's wednesday blog challenge.

So much going on it's crazy! Here's a quick update since I should be doing lesson plans...

1. School started - so far a pretty good class - some interesting characters but I think it'll be a better year than last.

2. The day teachers started I found out a colleague quit and I was getting her student teacher - me...a 3rd year teacher being a mentor for a student teacher---ah. Then I realized who it was...ahhh. Things should be fine - we have some work to do - but it's nice to have an extra set of hands FOR SURE!

3. I'm sick. I don't know with what but I've been pretty ill since last Tuesday - lost 8 pounds in 8 days. I was put on a special diet of bland crap but ate pizza tonight cause I'm sick of still being sick even on my bland diet. SO far so good - taking some meds - unfortunately they make me sleepy - so i have to get up early - get ready for school - take my meds - sleep for an hour and get to school later than usual...Trying to get a Dr.'s appointment to figure out what might be wrong - it's not a virus or I would be better by now. So pray it's just something that is easily taken care of. I miss real food and waking up not feeling sick.

4...I procrastinate - I must go do  my lesson plans since I haven't done anything school related since kids started because I've felt crappy.

I would so rather be sleeping right now. I went to bed almost a 1/2 hours ago  but my mind is racing - for 2 reasons... starting school and JRB. Why is it that when I think I'm over him one day back at school with certain people, or once chance encounter with him brings all those feelings back? Today I sat through story after story from a friend of mine - who also happens to have dated JRB of how wonderful he is, how he needs a great girl, etc etc. I finally just asked what happened that they aren't dating - they just couldn't make the transition from friends to dating and it made things rough I guess. I just decided today - after I've talked with a friend who has been recently going out on some dates - that I just need to make more of an effort with him - be more direct. So today I emailed him - just a friendly email - asking about his new job - telling him I was thinking about him etc and hopeing we could see each other sometime soon. So far 2 or 3 people have mentioned that now his old excuse of working together is no longer legit - since he now is a counselor at the middle school - so...Why not? So that is of course running through my head. I know I would regret not making an effort with him because he is just a fantastic guy! So...no regrets right? Let's see how bold little ol me can be and where it'll get me.

I also can't stop thinking about school. Previously it was dread - after today...much better. I was asked to mentor a new teacher in our building. She is fantastic and I loved talking to her about everything - it's amazing to think I was in her shoes just 2 years ago! Now this year I get to receive my tenure and golden apple for surviving and succeeding through those first 2 years. I came home and started working on some plans. I actually for once feel ahead of the game and I'm hoping to keep it that way. I keeping rehearsing in my head what I'll say the first day, at meet the teacher, back to school night etc. Sometimes I wish my mind would just turn off so I can sleep! I have to get up early tomorrow - head back to the dentist then go to school. I'm having some of my old students come in and help me set up my classroom then I'm treating them to pizza. Should prove to be fun and also make my room look better - but this not sleeping thing is hurting  the good mood I'd like to be in in the morning. Although now my mind is thinking about Toasted Almond coffee and that sounds like a great idea to get me through the morning. I'm also hoping I get an email back from JRB tomorrow!

On another exciting note - Nicole and I are adopting a kitty - we get her on Friday from the Humane Society!!! Will post pics and let you knwo how that goes! I'm SO excited.

Here's to sleeping sometime tonight!